Pushing Yourself

Ask anyone who knows me, the first thing people think of when it comes to me, is that I love comfort. 

I’m a big fan of the ‘comfort zone’ and rarely do anything that goes beyond that boundary. 
Some people call it lazy, others, stubborn. 
If there’s something I don’t want to do, Heaven and Earth couldn’t make me. 

So when it comes to Crohn’s - if I ever feel uncomfortable; if I’m feeling nervous or sick, I decide it’s best not to go out and I inevitably stay at home - where (funnily enough) any feelings of illness magically disappears. 

Struggling with anxiety and Crohn’s isn’t new to me - and can be talked about in other posts, so I’m not going to here. 

However…

I came across the perfect opportunity to push myself the other day. I needed petrol and as I wasn’t doing anything that day, I knew it was a good time to go get some. 
As I was getting ready, I felt sick. 
I felt funny in the stomach, nauseous and I went to the bathroom probably no less than 5 times. 

‘Stay at home. Get the petrol another time.’ 

This ran through my head several times. I began to think that I could just get the petrol another day - there was no reason why I couldn’t. And home (being my ultimate comfort zone) was a better place to just stay anyway. 

But then I did something that I really struggle with - pushing myself out of my comfort zone. 

Since my first flare up last year, I’ve been finding my comfort zone is being pushed to the test as more things disappear out of that zone. Things like going out for dinner, the movies and on occasion - coffee dates, are now things I consider a challenge. A challenge of the mind. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yep, pushing myself. So getting petrol - which I’ll quickly add is a 5 minute drive - is considered pushing myself out of my comfort zone (depending on if I’m having a good day or not). 

With my mind working against me - ‘let’s stay home! There’s no point going out for petrol then coming back again.’ - I decided I had to do it. I could push myself to go get petrol. 

It wasn’t far and if I drove there and wasn’t feeling well, then I could turn around and go back home again. 

So I got in the car.

I know this is going to sound lame, but the feeling of joy because I had done it, was overwhelming. On the way home I felt so good and even though it was such a small chore, I did it. I could have stayed home but I pushed myself. 

It’s hard writing this - petrol, coffee, dinner, etc. are not thing ‘normal’ people worry about. They just go ahead and do it. I envy these people like crazy. But I must put things into perspective. 

So, last night I had work. I’ll admit it to you, because I can trust you, but for the last couple of weeks, I haven’t been going in. I’ve been having Anxiety Crohn’s and chilling out in my comfort zone. 

But I decided to push myself again. 

And I went to work! Ok another tiny thing people manage to do everyday. But again - perspective. 

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is hard for everyone. But it’s something we all need to do to grow. 

Whether it’s jumping out of a plane (with a parachute, of course), handing in your resume for that dream job, going overseas, or even just getting petrol - living outside your comfort zone is rewarding and fun. 

Though it doesn’t hurt to wind down and relax in the CZ for  bit. 

*turns on TV*