Friends With Benefits...oh, And Crohn's.

So I’m going to venture into a topic that I have not yet come across on any of the Crohn blogs I stalk.

The blogs are amazing, but (at least with the ones I’ve found) they are married or in a relationship with a significant other who gets there needs.

I am single.

And while it’s fortuitous that I haven’t had to awkwardly tell anyone who I see sexually about my problems and refuse the help they want to offer (I’m not into this whole ‘needy’ thing, but it’s something I think I’ll have to get used to) I still want to go out and have fun, sexy times.

Let me introduce you to…F. F is a guy who’s attention that I caught (he must be into shy, awkward 20-something’s). We've known each other for a while but not on any deep level. 

Fast forward to last week and we were having a discussion late at night online. Neither of us were drunk, but the topics we were having may have looked that way.

A few hours into the conversation I confessed to him that I would have sex with him. He then told me likewise. What was hypothetical conversation, turned into realistic expectations and we seriously considered a Friends With Benefits (FWB) situation.  

          

I really thought about it, and considering my situation, it’s not a bad idea.

Let’s break it down:

- My Crohn's is currently ok - not great but ok with help. 

- Unfortunately that help is not medication. I will be seeing people about this soon and I'm counting down the days. 

- Eating anywhere (aka dinner dates) is out of the question for me. 

- Actually, any sort of date-like activity where I don't know where bathrooms are etc. is a bad bet. 

FWB would mean no dinner dates, no meeting friends or family in stressful situations, it’s a no pressure environment and all in the space of a bathroom 3 feet away.

So, releasing the rebel in me, I agreed.

We then talked about it more yesterday where we discussed when and where.

1^st Issue:

Straight off the bat, the when part is iffy. 

‘When’ will always be the case of ‘when I’m well’ and that’s more than subjective. It’s more liable to change than life itself and making specific arrangements will always be a case of ‘well, maybe.'

2^nd Issue:

Where? Being both 21 and at University, we both still live with our parents. 

Organising a place either means at small times of the days when they’re not home or home is a no go zone. This is a massive let down, because it’s the perfect place for bathroom access.

3^rd Issue:

Like most people our age who are bound by their parent’s home, and are sexually active – it might sound like a cliché, but a car is an option. And an option I thought about; for 2 seconds!! The fact that it’s a tacky cliché aside, what happens if I have an attack? And I need a bathroom – like right now! Unless he’s got a camper-van with a bathroom (he doesn't and nor do I) back of a car is a bad, bad choice.

4^th Issue:

I even thought a last resort could be just that…a resort. 

Ok, well maybe more of a hotel – but did I mention we are poor, Uni students?

And to top it off?  He doesn't know about my Crohn’s. And I'm not about to tell him. It’s a laid-back, care free scenario and I'm not about to bring in any problems about myself into the situation. How lame is that?

The FWB is still up in the air. But it’s amazing how Crohn’s Disease makes you think about every asset of your life. Things that wouldn't even be thought about are now issues. At least for me they are. Hopefully this changes soon.