Tuesday, 9 December 2014

I'm Struggling with it

 I have to come clean. I’m struggling with this Crohn’s thing. I’m really struggling.

I feel myself retreating into my own space. And it’s isolated, lonely and dangerous.

For the past couple of days I’ve been in bed, watching Ja’mie Private School Girl, wishing I had that life with a strong, tight-knit group of friends.

I’ve been eating whenever, sleeping whenever and this isn’t a Crohn’s thing, it’s something worse.
I haven’t had a flare up in a while, but the fear of it is keeping me in bed. Every time I do go out, I have this blinding fear and it makes me actually sick.

On Thursday I had coffee with an old friend. I was only out for a couple of hours, but while I was out, I began worrying that I was going to get sick, then I felt my stomach twinge, then I told him that I had to leave and I did – almost throwing up on the bus ride home.

Once I got home, I felt fine after a while. I ate something (because I deliberately didn’t eat anything out) and after I had relaxed, I wasn’t sick anymore. I’m positive my fear and worry of being sick, actually made me sick.

So I’ve stayed in bed for the past few days.

Then today I got up, showered, washed my hair and went to have coffee with my best friend. I haven’t talked to her in a while, so I was glad to be catching up.

I even went to the shops early, got some money out and went looking for swimwear and tried on a nice bikini.

When I met with her at the coffee place, she was on her phone texting another friend.

Me being worried after what happened the other day, didn’t order anything. She called me a ‘killjoy’ and ordered while I sat down. When she returned she continued texting on her phone.

To say the catch-up was awkward would be an understatement. She talked to me about all the things she had planned this summer with the newly formed group I am not a part of (I would have been if I actually said yes to going anywhere). She talked about the music festivals they’re going to, and a lunch that they’re attending tomorrow. I did not get an invite, if you were wondering.

I cannot be surprised. I haven’t been going to anything lately, except coffee here and there – and even then it’s only with individuals.

She also asked if I had been invited to such-and-such’s 21st. I hadn’t. Yep, it was awkward.
Where we’d usually be talking, there was silence. Where there’d usually be laughing we were looking at our finger nails and around the place in discomfort.

I’m really starting to think that my negativity with life, not doing things or going out AND this whole stress of the Crohn’s thing, is becoming too much and she’s not going to take it for much longer.

So 1: my friendships are disappearing.

2: Work has been giving me less shifts.

They’ve been great when I had my flare up in September and they still are amazing and understanding about what I’ve been going through. But I’m a liability. And because of it, even though Uni is finished, I still am working 1 to 2 days a week.

3: Travel – or lack there-of.

I won’t go into it much because I did a detailed post about it which you can find here, but I really need to get away, but Crohn’s is making me stay.

4: Lack of a love life

Not only has my fear of Crohn’s kept my friends at bay, but it’s also kept any potential guys away as well. I’m not looking for a relationship, but when it comes knocking I deliberately hold back. How am I supposed to date, when I can’t even eat anywhere without feeling sick with fear?

5: Friend’s wedding

So, great news – one of my friends is getting married. And she’s asked me to be a bridesmaid. But at my lowest, I consider telling her that she should find someone else in case something happens to me and I ruin her day. Her wedding day is about her and her future husband. Not her friend who has a digestive problem and causes a scene - even if it's accidental. 

6: Blame.

You see, it’s not Crohn’s as such, it’s the way I view it. And I’m letting the fear and stress of it control my life. I’m really trying not to, but I’m letting myself be consumed by it all.

7: I’ve stopped living

I feel like I’ve only gotten my life back, after my stint of depression back in 2012. Now that this Crohn’s thing is happening to me, I can feel it creeping back in.

I try and put a positive face on it – that’s what people tell me to do anyway. But its rawness is making that difficult.

I’ve said most of this stuff before, of course. I feel like this entire blog is me bitching about Crohn’s Disease. And I’m hoping with time, that things will be more positive and I can’t wait to share those moments with you.

This blog is about me living with Crohn’s Disease. And for the moment it’s more about me dealing with it – or maybe struggling to deal with it.

While it might be difficult to read (hopefully not as much as it is to write) it’s an important part of the process that needs to be blogged.

I’m not the first person to be diagnosed with Crohn’s and I know through the way I’ve been acting, I know it makes it sounds like I am but I do know that things will get better.

Just for the time being I’m still (urgh) struggling with it. Yeah, still.


I see the specialist on Thursday. Wish me luck! 

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