A Slice of Achievement

I debated whether to write about this or not, because while it’s for the achievement of a milestone…I haven’t actually gotten there.

Yet.

When I had my first flare up, back to yesteryear (2014) I lost a lot of weight – almost 10 kilos. The loss pushed me into the ‘underweight’ category.

I intended to put the weight back on after I got healthy again. Months later, it was time. I could eat and keep it down, I wasn’t running to the bathroom every ten seconds, and I could go out and live my life.

But the weight didn’t go back on – not for lack of trying.

I thought because I wasn’t being ill, that the food I ate would pile on the kilos. Things weren’t that simple. I even remember thinking the prednisone would make me puffy (water retention) and I would gain weight (water) that way. But that didn’t happen either. So dangerously underweight I stayed.

Fast forward a few years, and while I did gain a couple of kilos, it wasn’t enough to push me out of the underweight category. I was also nowhere near how much I weighed before I became ill.

It got to the stage where my GI referred me to a Dietician, who suggested I upped the amount of meals and bulked up my supply of fruit smoothies. It was an excellent suggested, but I wasn’t committed and only added a couple more kilos to the total.

By this stage though I only had around 4 kilos to go. But after months of sitting on the 45-46 kilo range, I was worried that I would never achieve the ultimate; 50 kilos.

Eventually, I lost focus on my weight. I figured (and was told by my GI) as long as I wasn’t losing any weight, then it was ok. Not ideal, but what can you do?

I was eating. I was also feeling pretty well, so I assumed everything was being digested ok. It was also a matter of putting on the right weight. It would do me no good to eat foods that (while would help me gain weight quicker) would cause me to go into another flare up due to its high salt, or sugar etc., and resultantly be worse off than before.

Eating high-fibre (chia seeds) and healthy fruits and vegetables would gain the correct weight. And hopefully I’d stay healthy!

But it was tough, and eventually I thought I’d never reach my goal, so I stopped weighing myself.

Today, I had a GI appointment in which they weigh you. It’s been over 3 months since I last weighed in at 46 kilos.

Today’s scales showed a weight of 49.9 kilos! I’ve basically made it! I know I haven’t fully reached my goal, but I wanted to share it with people anyway. I’m very happy that I’m almost there! It’s taken literal years to put that weight the flare-up took, but step by step, it’s been put back on.

And more importantly – I’m in a healthy weight range. Which is really all I can ask for :) 

Things can Change so Quickly

In the simplest term I can put it; I’m scared.

Since Wednesday (5 days now) I’ve had the worst experiences known to me in Crohn’s kind.

**TMI SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT** do not read ahead if squirmish

On Tuesday night I had the worst stomach ache. Then Wednesday morning, I woke to the sudden need to go to the bathroom. I had some of the worst diarrhoea I have ever experienced. It was endoscopy prep medication bad.

That day I ate very little and wasn’t hungry. Diarrhoea stopped around lunch time. Then around dinner time, my stomach began to hurt again and continued till I fell asleep. In the morning I woke with the sudden bathroom realisation again, and the cycle continued.

It’s been that way ever since.

Unfortunately, I thought it was just a stomach bug and didn’t ring my GI sooner. Then it was the weekend, so I can’t ring them till tomorrow.

In five days my weight has gone from 45.5 kilos, to 41.3. HELP!

I just have to sit tight till I can ring someone soon.

I’m scared, exhausted – like, even writing this is tiring me out – I’ve been moody and anti-social.

In this case, things turned on a dime. I was going really well, no problems, then in days my health just deteriorated. I don’t know the cause. The only different thing I have done lately is add 25mg to one of my tablets (on drs orders, of course) but I feel like something so small couldn’t cause this huge change. Besides, the tablets are supposed to make me better, not worse. Adding should improve my situation.

It’s not yet been a week, but I feel like this change has already affected my life greatly. I have been missing out on work – it’s already been 4 shifts I’ve had to call in sick. I’ve stopped talking to friends and replying to things about going out – I don’t want to burden them with what’s been happening and bring them down. And I’ve been lying to my family about how much I weigh. They were upset when they thought I weighed 43 kilos – I can’t tell them it’s actually 41 now.

My worst case scenario is someone is going to tell me to go to hospital; I see that happening tomorrow when I ring the GI. But I don’t want to think about that, and hope they can offer me something (advice, help) that will hopefully get me back on track as quickly as this all started.

Things have just changed so quickly. It reminds me of my first major flare-up. And I don’t want to go down that path of being sick for months, ever again. 

My 2016 Post.

I haven't written one post in 2016. My bad. 
A positive reason for this though is my condition is (mostly) being handled. So there hasn't been a need to write anything. 
I've also been busy this year: I did my honours project, I've been going to work, I go out with friends, and even have been going on dates in 2016 - that's cool. 
I'm still on Prednisone - didn't think I could be on it for so long, but here we still are. 
And I'm also taking Puri-Nethol - which last week got upped, so now I'm taking even more of it. 
My dosage got bigger after I saw the GI last week. I won't lie; I was pretty disappointed when I found out that my Puri-Nethol dosage was getting bigger and not stopping all medication like I hoped. But as long as I'm mostly healthy that's the important thing, right? 
In 2016 I did my second endoscopy/colonoscopy in my life - maybe a post on that to come later...or on second thoughts, maybe not. 
I'm STILL trying to gain weight - at least I'm not losing anymore so that's a positive. 
I received news that one of my friends might have IBD issues - I'm hoping they'll be OK once they have their procedure done. 
Anyway, sorry I haven't been around. But then I'm happy that I'm healthy-ish. I'm sure I'll be posting more...did I ever tell you about my holiday? Ok, I should do that if I haven't! 

Hope everyone has been well. 

An Issue Weighing Me Down

So if you’re a Crohn’s sufferer (urgh, I don’t like that wording but the truth is, it’s a insufferable thing) then you’re bound to have encountered weight issues over the course of your life. 

Whether it’s Prednisone making you gain weight, 

Lack of nutrients being absorbed making you lose it, 

Or a flare-up which is making it go crazy; 

Weight issues are not new for a Crohnie. If you’re on top of your weight and you’re happy with it, then go you! So proud!

The Great Gatsby 

For me, I’ve been pretty good with it - not great though; I’ve always needed to put on more but for the most part I’m happy. 

That was until a few days ago, when I hopped on the scales to find I’ve lost a couple of kilos. Making me the smallest I’ve ever been in a long time. 

I’ve been told by my GI and my cardiologist not to lose weight - if I can help it. And look what I’ve gone and done. 

But the thing is - I can’t help it! I eat, I eat healthily (mostly) and I have a good relationship with food. 

https://aflyingburrito.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/burrito-titanic.jpg

I’ve been noticing I get ill when I get anxious (i.e. every day) and I do get ill in the mornings. So I wonder how much I’m eating just goes through me, and my body doesn’t benefit from it. 

My weight is an issue that has….weighed me down…

The Wolf of Wall Street

But I chose not to let it get to me. Ok, so I need to put on weight - but for the most part I’m happy and I’m (somewhat) healthy. 

My goal remains to keep putting weight on. I’ve faltered this last week and I don’t know why that is, but I know that I can help try and put my weight back on track. 

Crohnie or not, our weight is something that people of all walks of life struggle with and compete with in different ways. 

If you are struggle with weight, no matter what the issues - I wish you luck on your journey and please remember that our weight does not define who we are. 

*thank you to Leo for his input in this post.