A Slice of Achievement

I debated whether to write about this or not, because while it’s for the achievement of a milestone…I haven’t actually gotten there.

Yet.

When I had my first flare up, back to yesteryear (2014) I lost a lot of weight – almost 10 kilos. The loss pushed me into the ‘underweight’ category.

I intended to put the weight back on after I got healthy again. Months later, it was time. I could eat and keep it down, I wasn’t running to the bathroom every ten seconds, and I could go out and live my life.

But the weight didn’t go back on – not for lack of trying.

I thought because I wasn’t being ill, that the food I ate would pile on the kilos. Things weren’t that simple. I even remember thinking the prednisone would make me puffy (water retention) and I would gain weight (water) that way. But that didn’t happen either. So dangerously underweight I stayed.

Fast forward a few years, and while I did gain a couple of kilos, it wasn’t enough to push me out of the underweight category. I was also nowhere near how much I weighed before I became ill.

It got to the stage where my GI referred me to a Dietician, who suggested I upped the amount of meals and bulked up my supply of fruit smoothies. It was an excellent suggested, but I wasn’t committed and only added a couple more kilos to the total.

By this stage though I only had around 4 kilos to go. But after months of sitting on the 45-46 kilo range, I was worried that I would never achieve the ultimate; 50 kilos.

Eventually, I lost focus on my weight. I figured (and was told by my GI) as long as I wasn’t losing any weight, then it was ok. Not ideal, but what can you do?

I was eating. I was also feeling pretty well, so I assumed everything was being digested ok. It was also a matter of putting on the right weight. It would do me no good to eat foods that (while would help me gain weight quicker) would cause me to go into another flare up due to its high salt, or sugar etc., and resultantly be worse off than before.

Eating high-fibre (chia seeds) and healthy fruits and vegetables would gain the correct weight. And hopefully I’d stay healthy!

But it was tough, and eventually I thought I’d never reach my goal, so I stopped weighing myself.

Today, I had a GI appointment in which they weigh you. It’s been over 3 months since I last weighed in at 46 kilos.

Today’s scales showed a weight of 49.9 kilos! I’ve basically made it! I know I haven’t fully reached my goal, but I wanted to share it with people anyway. I’m very happy that I’m almost there! It’s taken literal years to put that weight the flare-up took, but step by step, it’s been put back on.

And more importantly – I’m in a healthy weight range. Which is really all I can ask for :) 

My 2016 Post.

I haven't written one post in 2016. My bad. 
A positive reason for this though is my condition is (mostly) being handled. So there hasn't been a need to write anything. 
I've also been busy this year: I did my honours project, I've been going to work, I go out with friends, and even have been going on dates in 2016 - that's cool. 
I'm still on Prednisone - didn't think I could be on it for so long, but here we still are. 
And I'm also taking Puri-Nethol - which last week got upped, so now I'm taking even more of it. 
My dosage got bigger after I saw the GI last week. I won't lie; I was pretty disappointed when I found out that my Puri-Nethol dosage was getting bigger and not stopping all medication like I hoped. But as long as I'm mostly healthy that's the important thing, right? 
In 2016 I did my second endoscopy/colonoscopy in my life - maybe a post on that to come later...or on second thoughts, maybe not. 
I'm STILL trying to gain weight - at least I'm not losing anymore so that's a positive. 
I received news that one of my friends might have IBD issues - I'm hoping they'll be OK once they have their procedure done. 
Anyway, sorry I haven't been around. But then I'm happy that I'm healthy-ish. I'm sure I'll be posting more...did I ever tell you about my holiday? Ok, I should do that if I haven't! 

Hope everyone has been well. 

Imuran. The Beginning

Firstly sorry for the time in-between posts. No excuses. 

Though if I supposedly had one, it would be that I've been using this time to come to terms with my Crohn’s, taking some serious medication and living each day as it comes (a motto I hope reduces my worrying ways).

I'm glad to announce that the Prednisone has been doing wonders for my body. I'm no longer having random attacks and I've been feeling better. I do find that I get ill when I'm nervous or eat the wrong foods, but for the most part, I've been doing well. 

I've even had more dinners out in a public setting. As well as attending movies, work and other factors that make me Crohn’s nervous. 

I still take a lot of precautions when I go out - including what I eat beforehand, what I wear (though as it’s Winter here, layers is working in my favour), I like to know how long I'm staying out, and of course the ever present knowing where toilets are. 

Being able to drive helps. When I make my own way there, I know that if I feel ill, I can just take myself home. 

So, the title. As it suggests, I've started taking Imuran. I have heard mixed things about it (as you find with most medications) and I was nervous when reading through the possible side effects and so forth. 

It’s been my fourth day of taking it and (knock on wood) it’s been OK. I'm concerned about this whole liver side effect as well as the skin. But if Imuran keeps me healthy,  then I think it’s the way to go. 

I hope to be writing more about my Crohn’s in the hope that anyone out there who is struggling can read this and I hope it can offer support. 

Public Dining

So it has been a long time since I've written anything. Sorry. 

Last Saturday I had a milestone I thought was worth noting. 

I ate dinner out in public. 

It’s been a year since my first real flare up, and it’s been months since my diagnosis of Crohn’s. I've achieved little things here and there - banana bread with a coffee date, hot chips out on my birthday. I think I even managed drinks at New Years. 

And finally last Saturday I ate a proper meal out. 

Things I noticed while I was out. 

Pre leaving I was nervous as hell
I even contemplated not going several times. I freaked out and I freaked out some more as I got ready for dinner. 

When we arrived I searched like crazy for a bathroom
Not that I needed one then and there but I knew it was something I would have to know about - for peace of mind should the occasion occur. I was in luck - the woman’s bathroom was right near our table - granted it was the opposite end to where I was sitting - but it was right there - score!

I drank only water  
I was driving, so I couldn't drink alcohol anyway, but I wasn't even going to chance a soft drink. 

I picked something from the menu that I knew was safe
And I had about 10 bites. I also ate incredibly slowly. To the point where the waiter came and took my dish - I didn’t mind though, at least I didn't have to keep eating. The people closest to me asked if I had finished yet. I replied that I had, and they were satisfied. Needless to say, still had a lot of food on my plate. 

I didn't eat any birthday cake while out
Did I mention it was a birthday party? I was lucky; because it was my Dad’s cake that we brought, we got to take it home and I was able to have some then. 

There were times when I looked like I murdered someone because in my head I was thinking worrying about being sick
So yeah this happened a little bit - in particular when we first got there/started having food. Everything I ate, I analysed, making me look like I was a serious food eater. I would also drift off and think about how my stomach was feeling. I can only imagine how murderous I looked when that happened. 

I took photos to distract myself
So this was interesting. I would go around getting photos of people because I found that it made me distract myself from being sick/worrying about being sick. 

On the drive home I couldn't have been better
When I knew we were leaving and it was time to go home, I didn't think twice about my stomach because I was heading to the safe haven that is my house. 

I had a really good time last Saturday - and tonight I have other plans for dinner again - this time a farewell. 

In my head I'm already worried about being sick, what I'm going to eat, how long we’re going to be there, etc. but at least if I go, at least if I try - then that’s worth something, right? 

I also managed dinner a few weeks ago at a friends place. It was amazing - it didn't cross my mind that I could be sick or that I would be. I didn't even think about it till I got home. It may have helped that she lives 15 minutes away, and it was in a private home, but still...every step counts. 

Hopefully I will be on here more - if nothing else to vent and talk about my anxiety with Crohn’s and how exactly I'm dealing with it.