Putting Your Health First. And How it Can Suck.

It's been a long time between posts. And for anyone who might stumble on this little blog from time to time, and was waiting on a new post, I'm sorry. 

In good news though, I haven't been writing because A: haven't been sick! Or at least not long enough for me to write about it. And B: I've been busy. Aren't we all? Which means I'm up and about doing normal human being things. 

Or at least I have been. Not today. 

Which brings me to this post: Putting your health first. 

It's been a while since I've had to say no to something because of Crohn's. Unfortunately, it's the holidays here, blockbuster movies are all out, and there's so much to see and do because 'hey, it's the new year!' so it's the worst time for me to withdraw into myself. 

So, why am I going all recluse? 

I've been exercising! Yay (extra stress on the body!) - but let's save that for another post. It's also been Christmas - so overeating is mandatory. I'm also dehydrated; big time. 
Whatever the reason - be it one thing or all of the above, when I eat, my stomach kills. I have severe pain and have to lie down. Oh, another theory was gas build-up (either from food, or running) Crohn's is fun! 

And while it's only been happening for a couple of days now, and I'm not too worried, my anxiety is hitting high levels, freaking out that I might be sick. 

I'm also tired! And after how I've been feeling, could not be bothered to go out. 

So, in true Crohnserella style, I'm saying no. And for things I really want to do but can't, I'm ignoring messages because I'm that person who's being bitter and hating on why I have to stay at home, looking after myself, while people can go have fun. 

See, that's the 'And How it Can Suck' part. 

My reality is that I won't be able to do everything, all of the time. And while this is true for most people, for me it's a little more often. 

Hopefully, after my water-day (drink a load of water and that solves everything) I'll be okay, and ready to live life again tomorrow. Because as Crohnies, sometimes that's all we can do.

Things can Change so Quickly

In the simplest term I can put it; I’m scared.

Since Wednesday (5 days now) I’ve had the worst experiences known to me in Crohn’s kind.

**TMI SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT** do not read ahead if squirmish

On Tuesday night I had the worst stomach ache. Then Wednesday morning, I woke to the sudden need to go to the bathroom. I had some of the worst diarrhoea I have ever experienced. It was endoscopy prep medication bad.

That day I ate very little and wasn’t hungry. Diarrhoea stopped around lunch time. Then around dinner time, my stomach began to hurt again and continued till I fell asleep. In the morning I woke with the sudden bathroom realisation again, and the cycle continued.

It’s been that way ever since.

Unfortunately, I thought it was just a stomach bug and didn’t ring my GI sooner. Then it was the weekend, so I can’t ring them till tomorrow.

In five days my weight has gone from 45.5 kilos, to 41.3. HELP!

I just have to sit tight till I can ring someone soon.

I’m scared, exhausted – like, even writing this is tiring me out – I’ve been moody and anti-social.

In this case, things turned on a dime. I was going really well, no problems, then in days my health just deteriorated. I don’t know the cause. The only different thing I have done lately is add 25mg to one of my tablets (on drs orders, of course) but I feel like something so small couldn’t cause this huge change. Besides, the tablets are supposed to make me better, not worse. Adding should improve my situation.

It’s not yet been a week, but I feel like this change has already affected my life greatly. I have been missing out on work – it’s already been 4 shifts I’ve had to call in sick. I’ve stopped talking to friends and replying to things about going out – I don’t want to burden them with what’s been happening and bring them down. And I’ve been lying to my family about how much I weigh. They were upset when they thought I weighed 43 kilos – I can’t tell them it’s actually 41 now.

My worst case scenario is someone is going to tell me to go to hospital; I see that happening tomorrow when I ring the GI. But I don’t want to think about that, and hope they can offer me something (advice, help) that will hopefully get me back on track as quickly as this all started.

Things have just changed so quickly. It reminds me of my first major flare-up. And I don’t want to go down that path of being sick for months, ever again.