Putting Your Health First. And How it Can Suck.

It's been a long time between posts. And for anyone who might stumble on this little blog from time to time, and was waiting on a new post, I'm sorry. 

In good news though, I haven't been writing because A: haven't been sick! Or at least not long enough for me to write about it. And B: I've been busy. Aren't we all? Which means I'm up and about doing normal human being things. 

Or at least I have been. Not today. 

Which brings me to this post: Putting your health first. 

It's been a while since I've had to say no to something because of Crohn's. Unfortunately, it's the holidays here, blockbuster movies are all out, and there's so much to see and do because 'hey, it's the new year!' so it's the worst time for me to withdraw into myself. 

So, why am I going all recluse? 

I've been exercising! Yay (extra stress on the body!) - but let's save that for another post. It's also been Christmas - so overeating is mandatory. I'm also dehydrated; big time. 
Whatever the reason - be it one thing or all of the above, when I eat, my stomach kills. I have severe pain and have to lie down. Oh, another theory was gas build-up (either from food, or running) Crohn's is fun! 

And while it's only been happening for a couple of days now, and I'm not too worried, my anxiety is hitting high levels, freaking out that I might be sick. 

I'm also tired! And after how I've been feeling, could not be bothered to go out. 

So, in true Crohnserella style, I'm saying no. And for things I really want to do but can't, I'm ignoring messages because I'm that person who's being bitter and hating on why I have to stay at home, looking after myself, while people can go have fun. 

See, that's the 'And How it Can Suck' part. 

My reality is that I won't be able to do everything, all of the time. And while this is true for most people, for me it's a little more often. 

Hopefully, after my water-day (drink a load of water and that solves everything) I'll be okay, and ready to live life again tomorrow. Because as Crohnies, sometimes that's all we can do.

When Best Friend's and Crohn's Don't Mix

I'll be honest. I'm lying on the floor of my bedroom, my laptop in front of me. My eyes are puffy, red and the tears are still falling down my face.

The best part of being 21 is the social life; the parties, the coffees, sleepovers, movie nights and lunch catch-ups.

Being diagnosed with Crohn’s and still adjusting to the idea, your social life can be a hurdle. Or is it, the disease is a hurdle to your social life?

Either way, saying ‘sorry, I can’t come,’ is the most used sentence in your vocabulary.

My flare up started in June of this year – I’m still not on medication or have seen a group about handling Crohn’s and for the most part, I’m handling things on my own.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to say ‘no’ to going out since June. The amount of 21^st’s I’ve missed, the parties, the lunches, going to the movies, seeing whatever else – I’ve been missing out.

I’ve become withdrawn and alone. I have my family and for the most part I have my friends; but that’s beginning to thin out.

My friends are 21; they’re young, free, they travel, they see things…and they go to things. Only my best friend knows of my situation. And she’s been amazing with everything.

Then today, my friends had coffee. I was not invited. When I asked my best friend why I wasn’t invited, she said it was because I never went to anything anymore and that I couldn’t be surprised that she’s giving up.

Yep – that made me cry.

It made me cry a lot.

I retaliated.

I got angry and upset. I told the truth.

I explained how frustrating it was for me, how much I hated having to tell them ‘no’, how I hated disappointing them and how Crohn’s Disease is affecting me right now.

I have not heard back from her yet. I’ll let you know what she says.

But in the meantime I’m upset and hurt.

Hence why I am lying on my bedroom floor, tissues by my side and eyes like I haven’t slept in days.

I don’t want to be one of those ‘*whinge*, I have Crohn’s and boohoo me,’ but right now was a time for one of those moments.

I think things will get better after I see the specialist group at the hospital. Problem is, I don’t know when that will be.

I see the Gastroenterologist on the 11^th of this month – If I haven’t mentioned a thousand times already and hopefully he will have news about when I see this group.

I’m hoping praying that this tiff with my BF passes and that not only do we move on and I get invited out more, but that I can positively say yes when I am invited and not let Crohn’s say ‘no’ when really I want to jump up and down and say ‘yes’.

If you have Crohn’s or other IBD issues, let me know. I’d love to hear how you handle a social life and not let your digestive system get you down!